🌿 Revisit #6 — Me Jane, Me Numbing:
When Distance Becomes Dangerous (The Quiet Collapse of Intimacy)
When Distance Becomes Dangerous (The Quiet Collapse of Intimacy)
There is a moment in every relationship where the heart stops screaming
and starts whispering —
and then stops whispering altogether.
That’s numbness.
It’s not anger.
Not resentment.
Not even sadness.
It’s the emotional frostbite that forms when connection has been missing too long.
This revisit exposes the truth behind Jane’s quiet withdrawal
and Tarzan’s terrified confusion —
and how intimacy slowly bled out between two people who never meant to stop loving each other.
🌸 What Jane Was Really Feeling
Numbing isn’t a choice.
It’s a survival instinct.
Jane didn’t want to disconnect —
she simply ran out of emotional energy to reach, explain, or hope.
She told herself:
“Don’t feel… because feeling hurts.”
“Don’t reach… because no one reaches back.”
“Don’t try… because trying leads to disappointment.”
Numbness is dangerous because it feels peaceful.
But it’s not peace —
it’s surrender.
Inside, her heart quietly folded itself into a smaller shape to avoid further bruising.
She wasn’t leaving Tarzan.
She was leaving the pain.
But accidentally,
she was leaving him too.
🌿 What Tarzan Was Really Feeling
Tarzan felt the distance,
but he didn’t know what to do with it.
He sensed her pulling away —
in her eyes,
her silence,
her body language,
her lack of spark.
He thought:
“Something’s wrong… but if I ask, I’ll make it worse.”
“Maybe she just needs time.”
“Maybe it’s not about me.”
But it was about him.
And about them.
And about all the moments he didn’t realize she needed him to notice.
Tarzan wasn’t uncaring —
he was paralyzed.
Afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Afraid of triggering more distance.
Afraid of facing a truth he didn’t know how to fix.
So he stayed still.
And stillness reinforced the numbness.
🌿 Where the Communication Clogged
Jane’s numbness looked like “I’m fine.”
Tarzan’s passivity looked like “I don’t care.”
Both were wrong.
Both were hurting.
Both assumed the worst in themselves and the other.
They stopped reaching for each other.
Stopped risking vulnerability.
Stopped believing intimacy was repairable.
And real love?
It dies the moment two people stop trying.
🌿 How It Could Have Gone Differently
What Jane could have said:
“I’m shutting down because I feel alone,
unseen,
and emotionally tired.
I need your effort — not your perfection.”
What Tarzan could have said:
“I feel the distance.
I don’t want to lose us.
Tell me how to reach you again.”
What they both needed:
A restart, not a rescue
Gentle reconnection
Small daily emotional touches
Validation without defensiveness
A scheduled ritual for reconnection
Time, consistency, and tenderness
A willingness to rebuild slowly
Numbness is reversible —
but only with presence, patience, and truth.
🌿 Series 3 Intimacy Insight
The opposite of love isn’t hate.
It’s numbness —
because numbness means the heart is too tired to care.
The cure isn’t pressure.
It’s presence.
🌴 Jungle Laugh:
“In the jungle of love, sometimes the lions roar… and sometimes you just step on each other’s bananas.”
🔗 Navigation:
← Revisit #5- Me Tarzan, Me Silent
→ Revist #7 Me Tarzan, Me the Avoidant