🌿 Revisit #5 — Me Tarzan, Me Silent:
Why Communication Breaks Down (and How Silence Steals Intimacy)
Why Communication Breaks Down (and How Silence Steals Intimacy)
Silence looks harmless.
Peaceful.
Calm.
But in a relationship?
Silence is often the quietest form of abandonment —
not intentional,
not malicious,
but deeply wounding.
Tarzan didn’t go silent to hurt Jane.
Jane didn’t interpret the silence logically.
And intimacy?
It suffocated in the space between them.
This revisit is a spotlight on the emotional truth behind the shut-down —
where it came from,
what it cost,
and how a different conversation could’ve changed everything.
🌸 What Tarzan Was Really Feeling
Tarzan wasn’t angry — he was overwhelmed.
Silence was his shield.
A way to avoid saying the wrong thing,
making things worse,
or exposing feelings he didn’t know how to articulate.
Inside, he was thinking:
“If I stay quiet, we won’t fight.
If I stay quiet, I won’t fail her.”
But Jane didn’t hear protection.
She heard distance.
Tarzan didn’t know how to say:
“I don’t know how to talk about this…
but I don’t want to lose you.”
So instead, he said nothing at all.
And nothing can be a devastating answer.
🌿 What Jane Was Really Feeling
Jane didn’t want drama.
She wanted connection.
She wanted reassurance.
She wanted a few words that said:
“I’m here. I’m with you. I’m not going anywhere.”
But Tarzan’s silence didn’t feel like peace —
it felt like disappearance.
She didn’t hear:
“I need time.”
She heard:
“You’re too much.”
“You’re not worth talking to.”
“I don’t care.”
Even though none of that was true,
emotion interprets silence far more brutally than logic ever could.
Her heart began to fold in on itself.
🌿 Where the Communication Clogged
Tarzan didn’t explain his shutdown.
Jane didn’t understand the shutdown.
He needed space.
She needed reassurance.
Both were reasonable.
Neither was communicated.
So the cycle formed:
Jane reached → Tarzan withdrew
Tarzan withdrew → Jane panicked
Jane panicked → Tarzan shut down harder
Two good hearts.
One harmful loop.
🌿 How It Could Have Gone Differently
What Tarzan could have said:
“When I go quiet, it’s not rejection — it’s fear.
I need a moment,
but I don’t want distance between us.”
What Jane could have said:
“When you withdraw, I feel alone.
Even a few words help me feel secure.”
What they both needed:
A shared language around overwhelm
A “pause, not punishment” agreement
Small check-ins when silence starts creeping in
A gentler approach to conflict
Naming emotions instead of hiding them
Silence isn’t the enemy.
Unexplained silence is.
🌿 Series 3 Intimacy Insight
Communication doesn’t fail from yelling —
it fails from disappearing.
Intimacy requires presence,
even when presence feels vulnerable.
🌴 Jungle Laugh:
“Relationships are like vines — they’ll either hold you up or trip you flat on your face.”
🔗 Navigation:
← Revisit #4- Me Jane, Me Wondering
→ Revist #6- Me Jane, Me Numbing