🌿 Revisit #14 — Me Tarzan, Me Numb:
When the Heart Grows Cold (The Freeze That Follows Too Much Pain)
When the Heart Grows Cold (The Freeze That Follows Too Much Pain)
Numbness is not the absence of feeling —
it’s the burial of it.
It’s the heart’s last-ditch attempt to survive
what it can’t keep holding.
It’s emotional frostbite —
slow, painful, and eventually, nothing.
Tarzan wasn’t cold because he stopped loving Jane.
Jane wasn’t distant because she didn’t care anymore.
They were numb
because the pain stayed too long
without being tended to.
This revisit is the raw truth about the freeze that happens
when love has been hungry,
communication has been failing,
and heartbreak has been compounding.
🌸 What Tarzan Was Really Feeling
Tarzan didn’t wake up numb —
he became numb.
Piece by piece.
Moment by moment.
Brick by unspoken brick.
He felt:
Overwhelmed.
Defeated.
Unable to fix what seemed unfixable.
Embarrassed that he didn’t know how to lead emotionally.
Ashamed that he’d caused pain he never intended.
His heart whispered:
“You keep failing.”
“You don’t know how to fix this.”
“She deserves someone better equipped.”
So numbness stepped in
and wrapped itself around him like armor.
Not to hurt Jane —
but to stop the ache inside his own chest.
But when a man goes numb to protect himself,
he unknowingly freezes the woman he loves with him.
🌿 What Jane Was Really Feeling
Jane’s numbness came from a different place —
the exhaustion of carrying pain alone.
At first, she hurt.
Then she hoped.
Then she tried.
Then she begged (quietly).
Then she waited.
And finally…
she stopped feeling anything at all.
Not because she stopped loving Tarzan —
but because she stopped believing things would change.
Numbness became her safety.
Her shield.
Her oxygen mask.
She told herself:
“It’s easier this way.”
“Feeling hurts too much.”
“Hope is dangerous now.”
But numbness is a slow death for intimacy,
and her silence wasn’t peace —
it was self-protection.
🌿 Where the Communication Clogged
Tarzan mistook Jane’s numbness for indifference.
Jane mistook Tarzan’s numbness for abandonment.
Both were wrong.
Both were hurting.
Both were frozen in place.
Their hearts wanted closeness.
Their wounds wanted distance.
And silence won.
Numbness is what happens
when two people stop believing their vulnerability will be met with care.
🌿 How It Could Have Gone Differently
What Tarzan could have said:
“I feel overwhelmed and shut down.
I’m numb because I don’t know how to handle the pain —
not because I don’t love you.”
What Jane could have said:
“I’m withdrawing because I’m exhausted,
not because I’m done.
I just need safety to feel again.”
What they both needed:
Emotional triage
Honest acknowledgment of the numbness
Zero blame
Small moments of reconnection
Micro-gestures of affection
Vulnerability in tiny doses
Rebuilding trust slowly
Permission to thaw at their own pace
Numbness doesn’t mean it’s over.
It means the heart needs gentleness,
not pressure.
🌿 Series 3 Intimacy Insight
A numb heart isn’t dead —
it’s frozen.
With warmth, honesty, and time,
even the coldest parts of a relationship
can thaw back into tenderness.
But the thaw can only begin
when both partners admit the freeze.
🌴 Jungle Laugh:
“Jane needed a moment. Tarzan needed a translator.”
🔗 Navigation:
← Revisit #13-Me Tarzan, Me Lonely
→ Revist #15- Me Tarzan, Me Trying