🌿 Revisit #15 — Me Tarzan, Me Trying:
The Awkward Start of Rebuilding (Why the First Steps Feel So Hard)
The Awkward Start of Rebuilding (Why the First Steps Feel So Hard)
Rebuilding intimacy isn’t graceful at first.
It’s clumsy.
Uncertain.
Full of wrong words, shaky attempts, and misread signals.
But beneath all the awkwardness is something powerful:
effort.
Tarzan didn’t suddenly become emotionally fluent.
He didn’t transform into a poet or a mind-reader.
He simply woke up to the truth that doing nothing was costing him everything.
This revisit is the tender beginning —
the moment when a man starts trying again…
and a woman isn’t sure whether to trust it.
🌸 What Tarzan Was Really Feeling
Tarzan didn’t know where to start.
He felt rusty.
Self-conscious.
Afraid he’d try and fail.
Afraid Jane wouldn’t believe him.
Afraid he’d expose feelings he’d spent months hiding.
Inside, he was thinking:
“What if I’m too late?”
“What if she doesn’t want me anymore?”
“What if I make things worse?”
But he tried anyway —
because losing her was a deeper pain
than the embarrassment of fumbling through vulnerability.
Every small gesture he made
wasn’t just an attempt to reconnect with Jane —
it was an attempt to reconnect with himself.
He wasn’t looking for perfection.
He was looking for a way back.
🌿 What Jane Was Really Feeling
Jane wanted to believe him.
She wanted to soften, open, and feel hopeful again —
but her heart had been bruised by disappointment too many times.
His efforts felt unfamiliar.
Unexpected.
And almost too good to trust.
She wondered:
“Is this temporary?”
“Will he retreat again?”
“Do I let myself hope?”
Jane wasn’t resistant —
she was cautious.
She wasn’t cold —
she was protecting the parts of her heart
that had given too much for too long.
Rebuilding required more than Tarzan’s effort —
it required Jane’s willingness to receive it…
bit by bit.
🌿 Where the Communication Clogged
Tarzan expected immediate encouragement.
Jane needed time to trust the shift.
Jane needed softness.
Tarzan needed patience.
The mismatch made early attempts feel awkward,
but awkwardness is not failure —
it’s the growing pain of reconnection.
Rebuilding intimacy is not linear.
It’s two wounded hearts learning to risk again.
🌿 How It Could Have Gone Differently
(This is what would’ve smoothed the shaky beginning.)
What Tarzan could have said:
“I know I haven’t shown up well…
but I’m trying now.
Please be patient with me while I learn.”
What Jane could have said:
“I want to believe in us again.
Your effort matters —
I just need time to trust it.”
What they both needed:
A slow pace
Gentle reassurance
Encouraging small wins
Grace for mistakes
Rituals that rebuild emotional safety
Consistent effort
Celebrating progress instead of perfection
Repair is a dance.
And the first steps always feel clumsy.
🌿 Series 3 Intimacy Insight
Trying is sacred.
Effort is holy.
The early stages of rebuilding aren’t about getting it right —
they’re about showing up,
staying present,
and choosing love over fear
one imperfect attempt at a time.
🌴 Jungle Laugh:
“Tarzan planned a date night. Jane planned the next five years. Classic.”
🔗 Navigation:
← Revisit #14-Me Tarzan, Me Numb
→ Revist #16- Me Tarzan, Me Awake