Trauma and the Hidden Wounds
Post 4 - Suicide awareness
Not all wounds bleed. Many who die by suicide carry scars that no one else can see. Trauma — whether from childhood abuse, domestic violence, combat, bullying, or devastating loss — leaves marks that shape the way we see ourselves and the world.
I know this personally.
When my youngest child died at just 22, I experienced a trauma I can hardly put into words. A medical professional told me I was experiencing PTSD. At the time, I was running my own business, and there was no space to be swallowed whole by grief — but trauma doesn’t care about schedules, or your profession.
It felt like I was trapped in a deep mire, surrounded by darkness. I couldn’t breathe. I remember wondering how my heart kept beating when everything inside me felt broken. I’d paint on a faint smile, take a deep breath, go to a meeting…and then leave and completely fall apart.
There were moments I wanted to die, but I knew I had to keep going. One of my coping methods was talking out loud to myself:
“At this moment, all you have to do is wash the dishes.” I’d finish them, then allow myself to weep.
“For this moment, all you have to do is shower and get dressed for work.” Step by step. Moment by moment.
For years, I lived this way — so many sleepless nights, so much intense pain. But even in the fog, I discovered something: trauma rewires your brain if you don’t speak truth back into it. Sometimes that truth is as small and practical as reminding yourself of just the one thing you can do right now. But if you don’t rewire your brain with truth, trauma will rewire you.
The Lasting Impact of Trauma
Trauma plants seeds of shame, helplessness, and distrust. Survivors often live with PTSD, nightmares, flashbacks, and the sense that the world is unsafe. Childhood abuse, bullying, violence, or tragic loss all leave invisible scars. Research shows that multiple adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) or severe trauma dramatically increase suicide risk later in life.
But trauma doesn’t have to be the end of the story. Healing is slow, but it is possible.
Practical Steps for Overcoming Trauma
Name It
Silence keeps trauma alive. Speak it, write it, or tell a trusted person. Naming the wound is the first act of reclaiming power.Break Life Into Small Steps
Sometimes survival is about reducing life to the next dish, the next shower, the next breath. Trauma overwhelms — so shrink the task. Speak out loud to yourself if you must. “Right now, all I have to do is this one thing.”Find Safe People
Healing requires community. Surround yourself with those who listen and hold space without judgment. Safe people don’t rush you or minimize your pain.Seek Professional Support
Trauma-informed therapy (like EMDR, CBT, or somatic therapies) can help untangle the brain’s response and restore balance to the nervous system.Use the Body to Heal the Body
Trauma lodges itself in the body. Movement, stretching, breathing, and mindful practices help release tension and bring the body back into regulation.Rewrite the Narrative
Trauma tells us we’re powerless. Healing is learning to say: “Yes, this happened. And yes, I am still here. My story is not over.”Allow Time
Just as a badly out-of-tune piano must be retuned slowly, healing cannot be rushed. Too much too soon can cause more harm. Gentle, steady tuning is the only way forward.
From Broken to Resilient
Trauma changes you — but it doesn’t have to define you. With truth, support, and time, the same story that once threatened to break you can become the story that builds resilience and compassion for others.
If you are in the thick of it right now, hear me clearly: you are not beyond healing, and you are not alone. Even if all you can do is one dish, one shower, one breath at a time — that is enough.
👉 Next up: Post 5: Isolation in a Digitally “Connected” World